To Cassandra, from Steventon, "I was at Deane yesterday morning. Mary was very well, but does not gain bodily strength very fast. When I saw her so stout on the third and sixth days, I expected to have seen her as well as ever by the end of a fortnight. James went to Ibthorp yesterday to see his mother and child. Letty is with Mary at present, of course exceedingly happy, and in raptures with the child. Mary does not manage matters in such a way as to make me want to lay in myself. She is not tidy enough in her appearance; she has no dressing-gown to sit up in; her curtains at all too thin, and things are not in that comfort and style about her which are necessary to make such a situation an enviable one. Elizabeth was really a pretty object with her nice clean cap put on so tidily and her dress so uniformly white and orderly." - Jane Austen, Saturday 1-Sunday 2 December 1798
This is a sad situation here, is it not? I cannot help but feel badly for both James and Mary.
This picture is from Ancestry.com and listed from JA's Family by Maggie Lane.
http://search.ancestry.com/cgi-bin/sse.dll?gl=ROOT_CATEGORY&rank=1&new=1&so=3&MSAV=1&msT=1&gss=ms_r_f-2_s&gsfn=Anne&gsln=Mathew&msbdy=1756&msbpn__ftp=&msddy=1795&msdpn__ftp=&cpxt=0&catBucket=rstp&uidh=000&cp=0
James' first wife, Anne Mathew had died 3 May 1795. They were married on 27 March 1792, so they had only been married a little over three years. They had a daughter, Jane-Anna-Elizabeth, who was born 15 April 1793. On 26 October 1792, Eliza de Feuillide, James Austen's cousin, and Henry Austen's future wife, wrote of her to Philadelphia Walter, "I suppose you know that both Mrs. James & Mrs. Edward Austen are in the encreasing way, The latter I have only had a peep at, and the former I have not seen a great deal more of, as She is so much incommoded by her present Situation as to be confined to her Bed for whole Days; I think them both pleasant as far as I can judge."
James married Mary Lloyd on 17 January 1797, so a year and eight months after Anne passed away. I think, possibly, James was looking more for a mother for Anna and maybe a companion. I do not think he married for love this time. James had asked his cousin, Eliza de Feuillide, to marry him before he asked Mary. The Lloyd family, Martha, Mary and their mother, were family friends of the Austens, so James was probably familiar and friendly with them.
This is what Eliza had to say about it on 30 December 1796, "Has Cassandra informed You of the Wedding which is soon to take place in the family? James has chosen a second Wife in the person of Miss Mary Floyd who is not either rich or handsome, but very sensible & good humoured - you have perhaps heard of the family for they occupied my Uncle's house at Dean six or seven years since, and the eldest Sister is married to Mr. Fulwar Fowle who is Brother to Cassandra's intended; Jane seems much pleased with the match, and it is natural she should having long known & liked the Lady."
But, it seems, maybe, Mary had stepped into a situation she was not prepared for, a young step-daughter and a husband who, although amiable, was not in love with her and, as such, left her feeling vulnerable, insecure, and still alone. If you read between the lines, Mary seems to be trying to exert control and possibly shows a great deal of jealousy. In letter number ten written to Cassandra on Saturday 27-Sunday 28 October 1798, Jane writes, "James seems to have taken to his old Trick of coming to Steventon inspite of Mary's reproaches, for he was here before Breakfast, & is now paying us a second visit." For Jane to know of Mary's reproaches, James would have had to mention them and he, most likely, would not have if he were not bothered by them. Mary did not want him to visit his family, but it did not stop him doing so.
Further, years later, on Tuesday 30 April 1811, Jane was visiting Henry and Eliza in London, and in letter number seventy-two, she wrote to Cassandra, "Eliza has not yet quite resolved on inviting Anna- but I think she will." Eliza did end up sending Anna, James' then eighteen year old daughter, an invitation to visit she and Henry in London.
The invitation was declined and this is a remembrance from one of Anna's daughters, "The invitation was sent, but my mother was not permitted to go. The reason of the hesitation on Mrs.H. Austen's part was that she was not on terms with her sister-in-law, who would neither go to her house nor receiver her at Steventon - I believe the ci-devant Countess, who was an extremely pretty woman, was a great flirt, and during her brief widowhood flirted with all her Steventon cousins, our Grandfather inclusive, which was more than his after wife could stand or could ever forgive - and I think it is very probable that he hesitated between the fair Eliza and Miss Mary Lloyd. I can testify that to the last days of her life my Grandmother continued to dislike and speak ill of her. It must have cost Mrs. H. Austen a great effort to send the invitation, and certainly shows her to have been the more amiable woman of the two."
Perhaps Mary was still in bed two weeks later because she wanted the attention? How badly I have judged Mary here. I have no idea of the situation, I am just guessing. But, it does not sound like a very good situation for Mary, James, Anna or the baby. Oh, now I feel even worse, perhaps she was suffering with post-partum depression. They would not have even known about that back then or how to treat it.
Ibthorp was eighteen miles away and the home of Mrs. Lloyd at this time. It seems Anna had been sent to stay with Mrs. Lloyd while Mary was recovering. James was visiting his daughter.
I am starting to feel very bad about this post. I will stop now. All of this information is speculation and conjecture. No one alive today can really know these people, and people are constantly changing, responding to situations the best way they know how to. When I think about it, I do not think I would appreciate being second guessed two hundred years in the future about the decisions I make today. Hum, something to think about. Forgiveness, Grace and Mercy!
I hope you enjoy your day today!
Terrie
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